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Now showing newest Article postings. [POST]
The Nietzsche Family Circus Humor
Randomly combines innocuous cartoons with existential aphorisms. Wildly funny for brainiacs.
http://www.losanjealous.com/nfc/
Andrew 2007.03.11 15:00:54
A POLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS Humor
Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all;
plus,
A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of the other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to age, race, creed, color, religion, national origin, disability, political affiliation or sexual orientation.
(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for him/herself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)
Andrew 2006.12.16 14:38:29
Vasectomty Reversal Statistics Science
Vasectomy Reversals have become a fairly common procedure over the past twenty years due to dramatically improved success with microscopic techniques. Only two conditions must be satisfied for sperm to be returned to a patient's semen with vasectomy reversal. The patient must have sperm available to pass through the reconnection and also the reconnection must be essentially watertight. The surgeon's goal is to achieve a very precise circumferential reconnection of the sperm canal edges by using meticulously placed microsurgical sutures.
Things to Consider:
What is the "patency rate" of the surgeon you are considering? Worth asking, but often the answers need analysis!
The "patency rate" is the frequency of the post-op confirmation of sperm in every patient’s semen. This is almost routinely obtained. The "pregnancy rate” is always less, because many variables besides sperm presence are involved. The longer time interval to determine pregnancy or not loses many patients from follow-up. There are unrealistic claims by more than just a few reversal surgeons, like a "90% Baby Rate", that are absurd. Presumed normal couples without sterilization to overcome don’t do that well statistically! Some surgeons will give another surgeon’s or a medical center’s published patency rate. That indicates either they have not personally performed very many reversals, or their personal results have not been very good. Only a surgeon’s personal statistics deserve any consideration at all. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for statistics to be stated somewhat deceptively. An example is that some surgeons report 97-98 % success rates for returning sperm to a patient’s semen by simply re-connecting the upper and lower vas ends after removing the vasectomy blockage. This procedure is called “vasovasostomy” (VV). This is incredibly good, until you discover that they have excluded all their patients with poor or bad findings at surgery by performing on them the difficult bypass operation called “vasoepididymostomy” (VE), instead of vasovasostomy. Valid statistics require consecutive cases, not selected cases after some are excluded. Some report obtaining “98-99% success rates with patients having live sperm in either vas at the time of surgery”. This really isn't exceptionally good and it excludes more than half of all patients, because 50-60% of all reversal patients do not have live sperm seen at the time of their reversals. You simply have to be careful, perhaps a little cynical, when reviewing statistics, because the actual results are often not as they initially seem.
http://www.vasectomyreversal.com/
http://www.vasectomyreversal.com/
Andrew 2006.05.15 20:26:32
AOL users often don't get newsletter. Update
Because just a few retarded AOL users each week have clicked their "This Is SPAM" button upon receiving the ChicagoFunNews weekly newsletter (having forgotten that they subscribed, and instead of just clicking the unsubscribe link), AOL regularly (but unpredictably) blocks mail from Bedno.com/ChicagoFunNews.com
So if you're an AOL user, and don't get your newsletter, that's why. You should subscribe with a different address, or simply visit the site weekly, and/or use the printer friendly version.
Andrew 2006.02.24 09:21:03
Skate Fest Social
On Saturday October 22nd, the Warp Skatepark is holding Shredfest, a free skating competition. The Cartoon Network will have a graffiti artist on site and will be handing out free swag so come early. For more information please go to: www.warpskatepark.com
Greg Robson 2005.10.13 09:57:56
Balloon Sculpting Links Andrew
Balloon HQ - Educating the World About Balloons and Balloon Art
http://www.balloonhq.com
A truly comprehensive resource for entertainment professionals. Everything you've ever wanted to know about balloons, fabrication, history, sculpting, business. Also links for contacts and performers.
Pam's Place Balloon Sculpting Creations
http://www.angelfire.com/hi3/PamsPlace/balloons/balloons.html
Balloon sculptures and balloon animals with good pictures and step-by-step instructions for a number of basic and advanced forms. Easy enough for kids.
Balloon Art
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Plains/4030/balloon.htm
Animated instructions on the basic twists, instructions on creating figures, and a photo gallery.
Magical Balloon-Dude Dale balloon animals - Trade Show Entertainer, Master Balloonist
http://www.mbd2.com
Balloon animal entertainer in Chicago, with free instructions, photographs, for hire, free e-mail post cards, and balloon supplies for sale.
M B Floyd - Twist Balloon Art, Balloon Animals, and Balloon Sculpture
http://www.mbfloyd.com
Free instructions on simple and advanced balloon sculptures. Photo Galleries full of pictures of balloon creations.
Multi-Hobbies Balloon Sculpting
http://www.multihobbies.com/balloons/index.htm
Clear and simple site covering the basics and some intermediate forms. Sections on chosing the right balloons and hints on technique.
Balloon World Records
http://www.recordholders.org/en/records/balloon.html
Andrew 2005.08.06 00:28:42
The "i'm so goth" list: Humor
I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.
I'm so goth I dyed my belly button black.
I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."
I'm so goth, I don't say "black," I say "blahhwwwkkk."
I'm so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.
I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.
I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.
I'm so goth people touch me and they BECOME goth. They say, "Oh no, now I'm goth!"
I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.
I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.
I'm so goth I died and didn't notice.
I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.
I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."
I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are YOU so happy about?"
I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.
I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.
I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.
I'm so goth, when I was born, the doctor asked me, "What's with the shades?"
I'm so goth I say things like "eternally yours in darkness" and "love and darkness" and "may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud you in its infernal sickly sweet embrace."
I'm so goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.
I'm so goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewelry.
I'm so goth I'm the only REAL goth.
I'm so goth I smoke cloves in the shower.
I'm so goth a little rain cloud follows me wherever I go and rains on me.
I'm so goth I'm more goth than anyone else.
I'm so goth I got a tattoo of celtic knotwork starting at the top of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.
I'm so goth I pierced all my tattoos.
I'm so goth it takes me an hour and a half to get dressed.
I'm so goth it takes me longer to get UNdressed.
I'm so goth I'm dead.
I'm so goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.
I'm so goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, "DEATH."
I'm so goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, "DEATH."
I'm so goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator.
I'm so goth I wore corsets in preschool.
I'm so goth I wonder if my dog's collar would look better on me.
I'm so goth, when I was born, I asked for a light for my clove.
I'm so goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous.
I'm so goth little kids are mesmerized by my appearance.
I'm so goth parents leg their kids when they see them mesmerized by my appearance.
I'm so goth I've been banned.
I'm so goth nobody understands me, especially when I say, "the boom boom like shockalocka!!! . . . flibbaflobba!!!"
I'm so goth I don't take my medications, so I can be more goth.
I'm so goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry.
I'm so goth I make flowers wilt.
I'm so goth I like them better that way.
I'm so goth I punched a care bear.
I'm so goth I think saying "oh my goth" is cute.
I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me what's wrong.
I'm so goth little old ladies in walkers cross the street to insult me.
I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs!
I'm so goth I rooted for Gargamel.
I'm so goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.
I'm so goth that when I moved into Mr. Roger's neighborhood, he moved away!
I'm so goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to my forehead.
I'm so goth that whenever I walk into a room, you hear "Toccata and fugue in D minor."
I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically.
I'm so goth I have actually seriously uttered the phrase, "the darkest dark of the dark darkness."
I'm so goth I tried to use Cheer . . . it cried.
I'm so goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.
I'm so goth I know what pvc stands for.
I'm so goth the people at the suicide hotline have asked me to stop calling.
I'm so goth I'm catholic.
I'm so goth nuns and priests resent me because I look cooler in black than them.
I'm so goth tan lines are a sin.
I'm so goth I was adopted by the Addams family.
I'm so goth people keep asking me if I feel okay.
I'm so goth the dark is scared of ME.
I'm so goth I know how to spell Siouxsie & The Banshees correctly.
I'm so goth I . . . wear . . . my . . . sunnnnnglasses at night (sung with a Corey Hart pout).
I'm so goth I became a fisherman, just so I could use fishnets.
I'm so goth I want to die die die my hair black.
I'm so goth I'm on the second stage of aloof . . . I'm "bloof."
I'm so goth I sleep UNDER my bed.
I'm so goth, Robert Smith asked ME for my autograph.
I'm so goth I got a 12-pack of absinthe.
I'm so goth I don't eat gummy bears, I eat "glummy bears."
I'm so goth I spend every waking moment, every breath, in contemplation of Goth. The totality of my being is at one with the essence of Goth.
I'm so goth I dot my i's with frowny faces.
I'm so goth I call a smile a "concave frown."
I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.
I'm so goth my skin would catch on fire if it were ever exposed to sunlight.
I'm so goth I make Happy Meals cry.
I'm so goth I spend hours deciding what shade of black to wear.
My grandmother is so goth she uses gothballs.
I'm so goth I shower with bleach instead of soap.
I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella.
I'm so goth I always complain because my blacks don't match.
I'm so goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling.
I'm so goth that if I go out in the sunlight with bare skin showing, people have to put on shades because of the reflection off my pale skin.
I'm so goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side.
I'm so goth that lightning strikes whenever I count things. MUH-HA-HA-HA!
I'm so goth that in kindergarten I sang "woe, woe, woe your boat..."
I'm so goth I have crushed velvet lawn chairs.
I'm so goth I'm a flying buttress.
I'm so goth that colors fade away when I am nearby.
I'm so goth I only eat things that are burnt, because they're black.
I'm so goth, when I was little, I thought funeral processions were parades.
I'm so goth I make rainbows frown.
I'm so goth my clothes are made of dark matter.
I'm so goth I tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree--and it died.
I'm so goth, when our teacher told us to write the declaration of independence, I wrote the declaration of sindependence.
I'm so goth I sleep with my hands crossed on my chest.
I'm so goth, crucifixes shudder when I walk by.
I'm so goth I don't laugh...I cackle.
I'm so goth, I don't buy black clothes; I put them on and they TURN black.
I'm so goth I eat Unlucky Charms.
I'm so goth that a new shade of white had to be created to describe my skin color.
I'm so goth I make people cry when they look at me.
I'm so goth my eyes only see black and white.
I'm so goth one of my pick-up lines is: "I'd love to see what your insides look like."
I'm so goth I only drink black coffee.
I'm so goth I don't drink coffee, I drink goffee.
I'm so goth my dog barks, "Bauhaus Bauhaus."
I'm so goth my wrists slit themselves.
I'm so goth my car wears a fishnet bra.
I'm so goth when I go to sleep I wake up with a toe tag.
I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me, "What are you plotting?"
I'm so goth I scare myself.
I'm so goth I changed my name to Mystryss Darque Wintyr Nyght Rayn Ravyn.
I'm so goth I don't have a name. I'm just "goth."
I'm so goth all I do is sit around and talk about how goth I am.
I'm so goth I always use the word "goth" instead of "got."
I'm so goth every sentence I say has the word "goth" in it.
I'm so goth I'm the only person who understands what goth REALLY is, and I'm not telling you!
Andrew 2005.06.24 03:17:50
friendship Social
relationshiplinks
http://yahoo.com
Allu 2004.12.09 06:26:10
Version 8.0 announced! Update
User highlights:
* Added true age range specific calendars, changing from manually editor marked selection to automatic by age range field.
* Increased member photo spots from 0-5 to 0-10.
* Added member photo albums capability.
Of geek interest:
* Converted most remaining Perl programs to PHP, including newsflash maintenance, places search, media search and forward and webcams, photo search, past search, events search, offsite search, chat, radio, ad redirector, times and ticket offsite redirectors, maps redirector (also changed from mapquest to Yahoo).
* Internally changed to use wrappers for all hrefs, img src, etc urls. Allows true configurable use for multiple domains, and prepares for richmail content.
* Implemented intelligent "404" (page not found) error handling. Guesses and redirects for many near matches, or displays find form. Also logs bad url used and refering page.
Also:
* Made meta-tags page name specific, improving search engine results.
* Changed order or join process, allowing incomplete Bio until deeper functions used.
* Refined and improved style-sheet handling, adding more background/reverse capabilities.
* Improved restricted photo support.
* Fixes to weather and offsite search.
* Fixes to member photo uploads, including temp file capture and truecolor processing.
* Add refering domain to logging and to summary report.
* Improved event submit form, fixing last form that used "back" to correct errors.
* Overhauled places database system, and added an admin editor.
* Moved assorted fun personal files to comments and article forums, including jokes, and relationship links.
Andrew 2004.11.22 06:14:02
Arguments - The losing side of a relationship Social
In the 34 years that I have been doing psychic counseling, it is only in the past 10 years that I have been involved with couples counseling. One thing I have noticed with many couples, whether those couples are a man and a woman, two women, or two men, is that there is often a lack of real and meaningful communication. This lack of communication causes small conflicts to become heated arguments where issues are not resolved because both partners are trying to make their points and are not even listening to what the other person has to say. Nothing can ever be resolved when one person raises his or her voice with what only appears to the other person to be demands. The effect of this is that the other person feels as if they are being scolded like a parent scolds a child and this causes the person to close up in a defensive posturing attitude where they don't
bother listening to what the other person is saying. This intensifies the problem because when the person who is relating the problem area in their life feels that they are being shut out, or ignored, by their partner there is no meaningful dialog which allows a resolution to be achieved. The only resolution to the problem is for one or both partners to bring the subject up again, which might only create the same result. Instead of being resolved this issue now smolders like a hot ember, and this can make for an emotional forest fire!
The way I try to resolve issues like this is to teach couples how to discuss issues instead of just yelling and having the entire situation turning into World War III. There are several steps couples can take to have a good, open, and loving discussion, and to reduce the friction in their relationship by learning to resolve the very important issues that cause them to misunderstand each others feelings.
One of the most effective steps I teach couples is to express their anger, fears, aggravations, and concerns to their partner. This allows them the freedom of opening up without the fear of confrontation. It is a very simple method, but has certain rules which must be followed.
One of the ways I teach couples to do this is to encourage them to write a journal to document the issues in their relationship which they feel are causing problems. Detail is very important here. They must also devote an hour of uninterrupted time each week for open discussion. This discussion has to occur on the same day, and at the same time, and becomes a weekly ritual for the couple. During this hour, each of the partners has 30 minutes to read from their journal. While each partner reads their journal, the other partner cannot interrupt, or make any comments. After this hour, I encourage each partner to spend some time alone, and to reflect upon what they have just heard. They must also remember not to have any discussion about what has just been said. However, they can add some of this new information into their journals for the following week?s discussion. This method is not a quick fix for a troubled relationship, but most couples are amazed that after several months they are now working together to resolve the problems in their relationship.
One of the most complex interactions we face in life is the relationship with our partners. There is often some initial spark which brings two people together, but for a relationship to thrive it requires communication, cooperation, and compromise. This is only one of the many techniques which can be used to help couple resolve issues, but by teaching couples how to effectively communicate, it helps to strengthen the foundations of their relationship.
About the Author:
George Ministeri, Whitman, MA, USA
PsychicHelp@GeorgeMinisteri.com
http://www.GeorgeMinisteri.com
George Ministeri is an internationally acclaimed psychic, and intuitive counselor with over 30 years experience. Visit his website at http://www.GeorgeMinisteri.com to discover more about who George Ministeri is and how his psychic readings have benefited his clients.
http://www.GeorgeMinisteri.com
Andrew 2004.08.04 14:30:55
Joseph Guzman - Chicago Astronomer Forum Online Science
The Chicago Astronomer provides free interactive information through regular emails and via forum on Chicago area astronomical events.
Many feel astronomy is prohibitive in Chicago's light polluted skies, but many objects and events can be easily observed if you know where and when to look.
The Chicago Astronomer often sets up his telescopic equipment by the Adler Planetarium on clear evenings, sharing views and discussions with the public. First views of Saturn's rings, the craters of the moon and the bands of Jupiter always brings gasps of excitement.
If you are interested in joining the ranks of amateur astronomers, seeking more information or just wondered about the the night skies, please contact the Chicago
Astronomer or stop by the forum.
Right at your finger tips. Free, all ages, 24/7.
http://astronomer.proboards23.com
Andrew 2004.06.03 13:49:53
Notes regarding SPAM, Unsolicited Commercial Email, and Viruses: Update
1) Bedno.com absolutely never sends unsolicited email, and never has. Membership signup is always confirmed, all contact info is real, and the remove link in every message works immediately.
2) Bedno.com is a volunteer run non-profit enterprise not funded by any listed events, so the question of commercial content at moot.
3) Bedno.com servers are constantly kept virus free, and Bedno.com has NEVER suffered an infection.
That said, be aware that most modern viruses use "spoofing", sending themselves out to people in infected user's address books, presenting themselves as if they were from OTHER people in the same address book. This allows them to appear to be from known and trusted other people, and obfuscates determination of their actual origin. Due to a large membership list and many years of publication Bedno.com addresses appear in many user's address books and email history. Thus, Bedno.com may often appear as the spoofed sender by viruses. Bedno.com has no control over this, and no responsibility. For safety, follow the hints below.
Also, Bedno.com addresses have occasionally been used fraudulently by spammers, and sadly for example has appeared as the sender on thousands of emails sent in Russian and Brazil. Bedno.com has no control over this, and no responsibility. For safety, follow the hints below.
Bedno.com receives over 100 spams, and about ten viruses EVERY DAY! Bedno.com looks forward to legislation that will bring criminal penalties to spammers. Their days are numbered.
Other than spammers, a major problem today is careless web users becoming infected by viruses. Bedno.com strongly recommends the following precautions:
1) ALWAYS CONTINUOUSLY USE UPDATED ANTI-VIRUS SOFTWARE!
If you do not have anti-virus software installed, and kept current, and scanning all email, and regularly scanning your full system, you are doomed, and are a threat to everyone you know. You should immediately purchase and install either McAfee or Norton. See http://mcafee.com or http://symantec.com now!
2) ALWAYS USE UPDATED SPYWARE DETECTION SOFTWARE!
If you do not have spyware detection software installed, and kept current, and regularly scan and clean your system, you are almost certainly being monitored right now by unscrupulous advertisers. You should immediately purchase and install either AdAware or SpyBot. See http://lavasoft.com or http://safer-networking.org now!
3) NEVER OPEN ATTACHMENTS!!!
Not at all, ever. Unless you specifically requested one and expected it, from someone you know. Emails such as "Update your credit card info" or "Bill attached" or "Is this you?" or "Email failure (click here)" and many others are all frauds. Do not open them, or unzip them, and never use the remove or any other links they may provide.
4) MAKE SURE YOUR WINDOWS UPDATE IS CURRENT!!!
Standard Windows systems have many security weaknesses, and can be infected by viruses by simply visiting a maliciously formatted web-site. Windows users MUST regularly use the built-in "Windows Update" feature found on the start menu. Do it NOW, be patient, follow the instructions, trust what it does or you are doomed.
It is a sad state that everyone's personal computers have become a battleground for evil geeks and salacious merchants. Bedno.com is part of the solution, not the problem, and wishes that the perpetrators suffer slow and horrible deaths.
Andrew 2004.05.04 12:48:29
Vasectomy Info Social
Vasectomies:
http://www.vasectomy-information.com
The website of alt.support.vasectomy - comprehesnive and with a mailing list.
http://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/vasect.htm
National Institute of Health.
http://www.my-vasectomy.com
One man's fully photographed experience.
http://menshealth.about.com/health/menshealth/cs/vasectomy
About.com subject guide.
Reversals:
http://www.urologyorlando.com/vasect.htm
http://www.vasectomyreversal.com
http://www.vasectomyreversals.com
http://www.vasectomyreversalspecialists.com
http://www.vasweb.com/revlpage.htm
http://members.aol.com/vasrevers/procedureframe.html
http://www.male-infertility.com
http://www.earlowen.com.au/vasectom.htm
http://www.malereproduction.com
Consensus:
There are repeated statements on-line to the effect that vasectomy is reversible, decreasing with time from almost certain in the first 2yrs, to over 80-90% within 2-10yrs. The cost runs $4000-12000 depending on surgery type. I consider it an option in part only because I expect to be able to afford it. Reversals are most likely not covered by insurance. The surgery type is determined from an initial examination of the quality of the sperm ducts. Also, conceivably there are two chances to get it right and there are workable in-vitro worst case solutions. Some of the online statements of reversibility provide statistical background, but the total samples is low. The best example was from less than 500 surgeries. They reported over 97% showing return of necessary volume of viable sperm. All sources however quoted pregnancies generally resulting in only 50% or so of case. This follow-up was not even monitored by some surgeons. This is not an unreasonable percentage and may often be due to other variables. My own Urologist was initially strict with me that I must understand that this is permanent. Afterwards though when he asked if I had questions, and I asked if it was reversible should I really really wish it, he was almost dismissively positive about it. Be clear that surgeons will not guarantee a reversal.
The National Institute of Health takes a hard line that Vasectomy should be considered permanent. They report that about 1 in 6 men has had it, and is more likely in in proportion with education and income. It is the third most widely used method among married couples, after female sterilization and the pill. It is the single most often performed elective surgery. I did not know this. Men widely report improved sex following vasectomy. Large scale health studies of vasectomy have shown no clear correlation with increased arteriosclerosis (a popular concern). Some studies have shown a slight correlation with superior overall health. There are several conditions which do occur in one of every few thousand individuals. These include occassional swelling or tenderness, developing immune response to sperm, and standard post-operative infection risks. Be aware also that a man is still fertile for a week or two following the procedure. Ideally, find a surgeon who is using the newer (1988) "no scalpel" technique.
Personal Story:
On Thursday April 6th, 2000, I had a Vasectomy. Though dating a MARVELOUS young woman with whom I hope to have children someday, it seemed like our best choice. I am 38 with a 12 year old from a prior marriage (age and existing children are screening questions asked by the Urologist). I feel chemical solutions are undesirable for women for several reasons. IUD's can be felt (sorry, it's true). I also personally hate condoms. I hate involving something so artificial in something so intimate, and I tested clean. These facts combined with the fact that I think it is CRITICAL to the point of UNCONDITIONAL to not have an unplanned pregnancy made Vasectomy a reasonable gamble. BUT - no surgery is good surgery. This hurts like hell, for days on end, is done in an uncomfortable operating environment, and bleeds a while. In retrospect I do not feel that I was provided adequate pre or post operative information. I would have appreciated something printed about pain and wound care. It feels like I was kicked in the balls REALLY HARD! Also, I was unprepared for a massive emotional aspect for many hours immediately following the surgery. Finally, this procedure does leave one subtley changed physically, in ways that an aware man will notice, such as a different texture to the semen and slightly different feelings inside. On the whole though, I'm totally happy, and filled with lusty plans.
Thoughts a year later:
It's pretty nice. No physical awareness of it at all. Since I regularly hang with the pierced and tattooed, I call it a body-mod. I'm living with the decision, clock running out on reversibility. I've noticed that it became at least a tiny character attribute about me in friend's minds. I've noticed my own awareness that I am no longer truely a part of the fertile groups with which I play, but I'm OK with this. Perhaps the commitment bought this Peter Pan some wisdom. Lastly, I get funny reactions when people find out; surprised or supportive, and always interested.
Andrew 2004.02.02 13:43:07
Walt Disney Knew How To Get The Word Out Story
You need to get the word out about your products but your economic resources are limited. That was often the dilemma that faced Walt Disney. Often burdened with heavy debt, he found many creative ways to let the public in on what he was doing. His innovative marketing ideas could be used by businesses seeking publicity today.
1) Capitalize on current events: In 1930 Walt felt that Mickey Mouse who was constantly surrounded by barnyard animals should get a dog. He vividly described to his artists a funny mutt that his family kept on their farm when he grew up in Marceline Missouri, to the point of getting down on all fours, sniffing around and making barking noises. Animator Norman Ferguson transformed Walt's great acting performance into a cartoon canine named Rover . . . for five months. Then Disney read that an amateur astronomer named Clyde Tombaugh had discovered a ninth planet in our solar system called Pluto and Walt cashed in on the resulting publicity by giving Mickey's pet a new name.
2) Get your employees behind your product: Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs (1937) took three long years to complete and Walt suffered through many doubts about the film's marketing direction. He worried when the press called it "Disney's Folly" , then realized it was good to have people talk about it. He rejected a salesman's idea that he should eliminate the dwarfs from the advertising, pushing the love story between Snow White and the Prince instead. But throughout the stressful production his cartoonists stayed loyal and enthusiastic, often using their free time to run around Los Angeles to tack up advertising posters. Snow White was a world wide success but perhaps the artists got a little too excited. After the money rolled in Walt threw his animators a party in gratitude. He later regretted it when his some of the more bohemian members of his staff chose the occasion to let their hair down, and the family event turned into a wild orgy.
3) Embrace new technology: In 1927 Walt made two Mickey Mouse cartoons that were rejected by distributors. Then sound was ushered into the movie business with Warner Bros. The Jazz Singer. Fearful silent film stars began consulting astrologists to predict the future, but most movie moguls shrugged off actors talking as a fad. Movies without dialogue sold throughout the world, who wanted to rock the boat? The unknown Walt Disney seized the opportunity, and with great difficulty added synchronized sound to the third Mickey Mouse cartoon, Steamboat Willie (1928) which resulted in the rodent becoming a national craze. Later history repeated itself in the early 50's when most of the moguls rejected the idea of television. Walt embraced the new medium as a way to keep the public informed about what his studio was doing.
4) Publicity is better than advertising: Today the Walt Disney Company is an aggressive marketing behemoth that spends up to fifty million advertising movies. Recent campaigns have included displaying the title of films on grocery divider sticks at supermarket checkout stands. But their founder had a different philosophy. As a young man Walt had left his job working for an advertising firm to start his own entertainment company and never wavered from his preference. When he entered television he always frowned on commercials, preferring instead to get publicity with fun, behind the scenes looks at new projects. He eventually left his first network ABC, accusing them of ruining the very popular Mickey Mouse Club (1955-1959) with too many interruptions.
5) What's In A Name?: Originally the studio started in 1923 was called the Disney Brothers. The younger, temperamental and risk-taking Walt was in charge of the creative direction, while the older and more cautious Roy, a former bank teller, kept the books. For forty-three years their partnership was a combination of love, ferocious arguments and give and take. In 1926 Walt convinced Roy that they should change the name of their enterprise to Walt Disney, it would make their products more identifiable. A bemused Roy went along with it, sensing his sibling's greater need for fame. The name Walt Disney remained associated with family entertainment even after both brothers passed on.
In 1994 Warner Bros. had high hopes for a feature cartoon called Thumbelina. But preview audiences found it boring, a reaction that bewildered disappointed studio executives. A week later they showed it again with a small change: The exact same film said Walt Disney Presents in the opening credits. The test scores went way up and several people in the audience inquired where they could buy Thumbelina merchandise.
Want to hear more stories? Stephen Schochet is the author and narrator of the audiobooks Fascinating Walt Disney and Tales Of Hollywood. The Saint Louis Post Dispatch says," These two elaborate productions are exceptionally entertaining." Hear RealAudio samples of these great, unique gifts at http://www.hollywoodstories.com.
http://www.hollywoodstories.com.
Stephen Schochet 2004.01.28 18:55:54
Walt Disney's Psychedelic Movie Story
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with a link or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
Walt Disney's Psychedelic Movie
By Stephen Schochet
orgofhlly@aol.com
COPYRIGHT: ©2004 by Hollywood Stories. All rights reserved
Chasen's restaurant in old Hollywood was a legendary hangout were movie stars expected to dine in peaceful private booths on barbecued chili without putting up with celebrity gawkers. There were occasional breaks in the quiet. Jimmy Stewart's bachelor party was thrown there complete with midgets clad only in diapers jumping out of cakes. Humphrey Bogart and Peter Lorre got drunk one night and stole the restaurant's safe, carrying it out onto the street until they were caught. WC Fields once caused his girlfriend Carlotta Monti great anguish by dining at Chasens with another woman. She called up nearby Cedar Sinai Hospital and told them that the comedian was having a heart attack, resulting in an ambulance coming to fetch him in the middle of dinner. And in 1938 the conductor of the Philadelphia Orchestra, the long haired, flamboyant Leopold Stokowski, in town to carry on a discreet love affair with Greta Garbo, had his dinner interrupted by a note from a waiter saying that Walt Disney wanted to meet him.
The cartoon maker and the maestro were surprised that both were fans of each other. As always Walt saw meetings with talent as an opportunity to push the creative envelope. In fifteen years of running his animation studio, Disney had used music to supplement gags and stories, now he wanted to reverse the formula. While recently attending a symphony at the Hollywood Bowl he had been enthralled listening to The Sorcerer's Apprentice by Paul Dukas. What if it were combined with a state of the art, twenty minute animated cartoon? It could raise animation to a higher art form and introduce new audiences to classical music who had never appreciated it before. Stokowski loved the idea so much he volunteered to conduct it for free. He also suggested several other pieces that could be presented with animation as well. And so Fantasia (1940) was born.
Disney's other reason to make Sorcerer was to save the career of Mickey Mouse. A superstitious man, who like many in Hollywood consulted fortune tellers, he felt that if Mickey died, his whole organization would go down with him. The problem was that Mickey like many stars was now type cast. He had gone from being mischievous to bland. It had gotten to the point where Walt would get letters of complaint every time the little guy would misbehave on the screen. He had been surpassed in popularity by the mean-spirited but more versatile Donald Duck. Walt also felt that the high pitched voice that he himself provided for the mouse was not exciting for audiences to hear, his role in Fantasia would be silent. Disney remained Mickey's strongest advocate, despite his artist's suggestions the four foot rodent was a dumb character who should be replaced in the film by Dopey. Their disdain lead to the phrase,"A Mickey Mouse Operation" used to describe things that are second rate.
At that time, flush with the huge success of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs (1937) the 37-year-old Walt Disney was at the height of his creative powers. Visitors to the studio were amazed by his boundless energy, they would have more surprised to find out he had suffered a nervous breakdown eight years earlier. His anything is possible attitude carried over to many of his artists who were zany characters to begin with. Working on Fantasia with highbrow types like Stokowski and music critic Deems Taylor, Walt would sometimes feel embarrassed by their immature behavior. Don't be, he was told, Your cartoonists are like the elves in Santa's workshop.
If Walt was ignorant about some classical music pieces, he made up for it by plunging into Fantasia with boyish enthusiasm. His imagination was translated into unique visions by the Disney animators. A Bach passage reminded him of a bowl of spaghetti, he was later amused when critics saw something profound in the simple drawings
that appeared on screen. Stokowski suggested they use a piece called Sacre du Printemps or Rite Of Spring, by Igor Stravinsky. "Socker, what's that?" Walt asked. After he heard the music he wired ten thousand dollars to Stravinsky for permission to use it. The desperate Russian composer needed the cash to get safe passage out of occupied Paris. Sacre was transformed from ancient pagan rituals to accompany a powerful depiction of Earth's evolution. Beethoven's sixth symphony, The Pastoral, was changed from a peaceful countryside setting to a Mount Olympus spectacle where unicorns, centaurs and nymphs roamed freely. After seeing the completed work for the first time Walt said with wide-eyed innocence,"Wow! This will make Beethoven!" Like what George Lucas would later do with THX, Walt developed a new recording system called Fantasound, so that audiences would be able to enjoy the rich quality of the music. All of this spending was viewed with alarm by his tightfisted business partner and classical music hating brother Roy, who annoyed Walt by suggesting they use some Tommy Dorsey tunes instead.
With past films Disney had often bowed to pressure from his financial backers to finish them early while he was still tinkering, trying to make them perfect. Giving in to the money men always gave him a sense of loss. He dreamed Fantasia would play forever in some theaters with new segments constantly being added, an endlessly ongoing project. But Fantasia was a crushing disappointment for Walt in 1940. Many movie theater owners refused to pay for the installation of Fantasound, giving the film very limited distribution. The exhibitors who did show it charged much higher admission prices than normal keeping audiences away. The people that did come were often put off by the lack of a story or the frightening devil in the Night On Bald Mountain sequence, for whom Bela Lugosi was the real life model. Roy, who had indulged his brother because he was certain they would break even overseas, saw World War II cut off much of the foreign market. Classical music aficionados like the ungrateful Stravinsky looked down their noses at Disney's masterpiece. Fantasia was cut in length and went into mass release as the second half of a double feature. The Disney brothers took a financial bath they nearly never recovered from.
Fifteen years later Mickey Mouse was back on top with The Mickey Mouse Club television show and Walt finally got his ongoing dream project with Disneyland. But unlike other initial money losers he made, such as Bambi (1942) and Pinocchio (1940), he never lived to see Fantasia become profitable. Shortly before he died in 1966 he said,"Fantasia? Well I don't regret it but if I had to do it over again, I wouldn't."
In 1968 the Beatle's cartoon Yellow Submarine did very well with the psychedelic crowd. Sensing a new market for Fantasia, the Disney studio re-released it and the film was finally made profitable by drug tripping hippies who speculated that Walt must have been on something when he produced it.
Want to hear more stories? Stephen Schochet is the author and narrator of the audiobooks Fascinating Walt Disney and Tales Of Hollywood. The Saint Louis Post Dispatch says," These two elaborate productions are exceptionally entertaining." Hear RealAudio samples of these great, unique gifts at http://www.hollywoodstories.com.
http://www.hollywoodstories.com.
Stephen Schochet 2004.01.24 09:18:30
Version 7.0 Announced! Update
Andrew is proud to announce release of his Advanced Content Management System version 7.
This version adds virtually all improvements ever planned, and fixes every known bug.
The following major areas were effected: searches overhauled and integrated, bugs in membership system fixed, page style and control overhauled, full comments search added, slideshow and bid/buy features added to photos, more.
Details:
Andrew 2004.01.15 00:00:00
Who Is James Bond? Story
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with a link or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
Who Is James Bond?
By Stephen Schochet
orgofhlly@aol.com
COPYRIGHT: ©2003 by Hollywood Stories. All rights reserved
Novelist Ian Fleming (1908-1964) claimed he based his smooth secret agent character James Bond on Cary Grant. But in 1957 the fifty-three-year old British actor turned down producers Albert"Cubby" Broccoli's and Harry Saltzman's offer to play the super spy on screen in a series of films. Grant was now to the point where he was getting paid seventy five percent of the gross revenues of each movie. Some in Hollywood said he was richer than NATO. He was willing to do one movie not five and the two producers realized they needed somebody cheaper.
That same year the 27-year-old former Tommy Connery (he renamed himself Sean after his favorite movie character Shane), was making Another Time, Another Place (1958) in London with Lana Turner, ten years his senior. There was a strong rumor that Sean and Lana were having an affair on the set. Word got back to Turner's mobster boyfriend Johnny Stompanato who confronted her. "Its not true and don't come to the studio while we are shooting." Stompanato ignored her plea and witnessed the filming of a scene where Connery and Turner were embracing on a couch. After several retakes the enraged thug walked into the frame with a handgun and pointed it at Connery, telling him to take his hands off her. But the Scotsman, who grew up getting into fights with gang members in Edinburgh, simply grabbed the gun out of Stompanato's hand, twisted his wrist and sent him running off, yelping in pain. All the while the cameraman kept filming. "Should I cut yet?" he asked the stunned director.
Soon afterward Connery went to Los Angeles to make Darby O'Gill And The Little People (1959) for Walt Disney. He was shocked to hear that Stompanato was stabbed to death in Turner's rented Beverly Hills home, apparently by her fifteen-year-old daughter Cheryl. The girl had allegedly walked in between the two with a butcher knife during a domestic squabble in which the thug threatened to mess up her mother's face. Cheryl escaped charges, it was ruled justifiable homicide. But many wondered how it was that a young girl could kill an ex-marine (Years later, after Lana passed on, her hairdresser claimed that the star confessed that she had killed Johnny, and let Cheryl take the fall knowing that the minor would get off.)
LA mob boss Mickey Cohen was convinced that Lana had actually murdered Johnny because he had threatened to leave her. He promised revenge on anyone who had something to do with his death. A nervous Connery kept checking into fleabag motels looking over his shoulder to see if anybody was after him, nobody was. Since he was connected to a scandal, he wondered if the squeaky clean Walt Disney would fire him off the picture. But Walt who was always thoughtful and kind to him, never mentioned the incident. Perhaps due to stress, Connery gave a stiff performance as the romantic lead in Darby O' Gill that impressed few critics. But Cubby Broccoli's wife was impressed enough after seeing the film to recommend that Sean Connery be hired to play James Bond in Dr. No (1962).
Broccoli and Saltzman were unsure about Connery after meeting him. His salary demands were cheap, they could sign him for five films, but was he right for Bond? The former truck driver and coffin polisher with the receding hairline seemed too unsophisticated. Connery kept banging his fist on a table to emphasize what he would do with the character. The concerned producers began to take him out to dinner to teach him proper table manners. They then sent him to meet Bond's creator Ian Fleming, who lived in a house in Jamaica called Goldeneye. When Fleming was not getting drunk with Noel Coward, Connery found out the fictional spy's history. How when the mild mannered author of Birds of the West Indies had turned forty-four he had been terrified of getting married for the first time. Fleming had decided to create the ultimate bachelor fantasy character who shared his love of fast cars, beautiful women, golfing and card playing. A high ranking British Naval Officer during World War II, Fleming was able to use the Bond novels to display his knowledge of intelligence work, including a training mission where he had swam underwater to successfully attach a mine to a tanker. Strangely, he had chosen the name James Bond after an American ornithologist because it was the most boring one he could find. Sean and Ian approved of each other, although Connery thought the upper crust author a tremendous snob. For his part the novelist wistfully wished that Roger Moore wasn't tied up playing The Saint (1962-1969) on TV.
After World War II the major film studios chose to reduce costs by getting out of production and focusing on distribution. Though the new arrangement opened up opportunities for independents like Broccoli and Saltzman, it made it harder for many films to actually reach the screen. Back in Hollywood the risk adverse executives at United Artists were not impressed with the early Dr. No footage they were sent from Jamaica. Actress Ursula Andress' English was impossible to understand. And Connery's accent changed in every scene. In this one he sounded English, in this one Scottish, what the hell was he in this one, Polish?! By the time the movie was completed UA declared Dr. No unreleasable.
With their film on the shelf Broccoli and Saltzman lobbied for it to be tested in England. United Artists reluctantly gave in and were shocked that Dr. No was a hit. Well Bond is English they said. It won't work in the states. Six months later they were proven wrong. Phrases like "The name's Bond, James Bond" or "a vodka martini, shaken not stirred" became part of the lexicon. Connery who would become bitter about his low salary and long term contract, was suddenly an international star. Fleming was so impressed by his impact that he changed Bond's background to Scottish. The author's untimely death in 1964 due to a heart attack changed the direction of the series from realistic to showcasing humor and outlandish gadgets. The only downside for Broccoli and Saltzman was that Dr. No failed in Japan. The movie exhibitors there translated the title to "We Don't Want A Doctor."
Want to hear more stories? Stephen Schochet is the author and narrator of the audiobooks Fascinating Walt Disney and Tales Of Hollywood. The Saint Louis Post Dispatch says," these two elaborate productions are exceptionally entertaining." Hear realaudio samples of these great, unique gifts at http://www.hollywoodstories.com.
http://www.hollywoodstories.com
Stephen Schochet 2004.01.15 00:53:03
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